11 Reasons for Chris Petersen to jam from Boise, skip UNC

So people have been talking about how money isn’t an issue with Chris Petersen, and that he’s a lifestyle guy who prefers staying where he’s happy and comfortable. (I call bullcrap, since $4 million is no joke, but whatever).

However, there are a ton of reasons — lifestyle and otherwise — for Petersen to leave Boise State, skip offers from UNC, and come to Westwood to bring UCLA back to prominence. Here they are, in no real order:

  1. Hot babes. OK, so maybe he’s got a wife and kids, but come on — who doesn’t love eye candy? Just the idea of being around beautiful women is awesome.
  2. Hotbed for recruits. Southern California is STACKED when it comes to football recruits. Look no further than prep-football powerhouses like Servite, Long Beach Poly, and Crenshaw. And then we have North County San Diego schools — Oceanside, El Camino High, Vista — that produce some pretty high-profile recruits. Makes life easy, CP.
  3. We have freaking In N’ Out! I don’t need to explain this.
  4. Recognition. Boise State consistently gets low viewership and little attention considering their successes. If that school loses one game, their entire season goes to rot and no one has them going to any meaningful bowl games. (OK, so that’s a hyperbole but still.)
  5. A Challenge. The Pac-12 is shaping up to be direct competitors with the SEC for title of best conference in Division-I college football. The additions of Mike Leach and Rich Rodriguez are freaking insane, and that’s added to the current roster including Chip Kelly and Lame Kiffin.
  6. Top-tier Medical Center and Health System. Now, I’m a little flaky to make any sort of assumptions about anyone’s health (including Petersen’s children) because I think it might be a bad omen. However, if anything should happen, Petersen’s got our wonderful medical center and health system to fall back on. Thanks, Chancellor Block. (Although you still suck for not trashing our pathetic AD Dan Guerrero.)
  7. The Weather. We don’t have any. Boise State does.
  8. We seriously have In N’ Out. I’m not joking anymore.
  9. You get to play in the Rose Bowl. THE FREAKING ROSE BOWL! Can you think of a more gorgeous stadium? Plus, you won’t get sick seeing all that blue. (Did you know the color blue suppresses your appetite? How will your kids eat hot dogs if they’re seeing you play on a blue field?)
  10. BRETT FREAKING HUNDLEY. People are high on this kid, and they should be — he’s a talented quarterback waiting to take the reigns as starter for UCLA. With Kellen Moore leaving Boise State, you have to figure this would help Petersen transition tremendously.
  11. It’s near the damn beach. Although this ties really close to reason number one, this is separate because the beach is fun. You don’t want your kids bored as hell in land-locked Boise, Idaho, right?

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