Tag Archives: Dan Guerrero

UCLA A.D. Dan Guerrero and head football coach Jim L. Mora have a conversation

Jim Mora: Hey Dan, can I talk to you for a bit?

Dan Guerrero: Hey Jim! I’m actually a little busy. I was about to devour this HUGE piece of bacon.

DG: … so can it wait?

JM: Y’know, I don’t think so, Dan. It’s about the facilities here at UCLA.

DG: Oh, no …

DG: … Not you, too, Jim.

JM: Yeah. Well, they suck, and we could really use an upgrade especially since I’m really feeling the pressure from the fan-base, students and alumni to produce this season. I want to make sure my guys have everything we need.

DG: (Starts to rub his face into his hands, as a small whimper lets out.) Jim, let’s talk about something else. Hey, did you know you look like Mark Wahlberg? He’s a stud. I have a picture of him hung up on my wall.

JM: That’s nice … and honestly a little creepy. But we need to focus, Dan.

DG: He’s just such a handsome man … you’re a handsome man, too, Jim.

JM: Dammit, Dan, focus!

DG: Let me let you in on a little secret, Jim. I didn’t hire you on accident — people think I do stupid things on accident, but they don’t realize that every stupid thing I do is on purpose. So do you know why I hired you, Jim?

JM: To turn around the UCLA football program that’s been the epitome of mediocre for a decade …

DG: No, no, don’t be silly. I hired you so I wouldn’t have to deal with lofty expectations and so I wouldn’t have to hear criticism from coaches the way I have heard it from guys like Karl Dorrell and Rick Neuheisel. They wouldn’t stop whining and moaning. About the facilities, about the coaching staff, blah, blah, blah. I got so annoyed, Jim. I blessed them with a job. Shouldn’t that be enough?

JM: (In his head) Just smile, Jim. Smile … Just smile. Don’t punch him in the face. Don’t. Punch him. In the face. DO NOT. PUNCH HIM. IN THE FUCKING. FACE!!!! 

DG: I’m glad you understand, Jim. Here, let’s split this bacon.


DG: Geez, Jim, tell me how you really feel.

JM: This is how I feel, Dan.

DG: That was seriously unnecessary, and I forgive you. Now …

DG … how about some of that bacon?!


Here is the Jim Mora, Jr. introductory press conference

UCLA Athletic Director Dan Guerrero introduced new UCLA football head honcho Jim Mora, Jr. Here is the video:

Well, the video gets better as it goes along because Dan Guerrero eventually shuts the hell up to let Jim Mora speak.

In all honesty, Mora seems articulate, personable and optimistic. He looks legitimately happy to be the UCLA coach and he should be — he was pretty underqualified as a head coaching candidate for a job in which people speculated Chris Petersen from Boise State would occupy.

But we can knock him all we want, Bruins. We can knock him ’til the morale of our coaching staff is nothing. But that won’t do us any good. Mora proved that he knows what to say and when to say it, which is more than what we can say from ex-coaches Rick Neuheisel and Karl Dorrell.

The highlight of this press conference? Jim Mora’s following quote:

“I dont want to stand up here today and make any bold predictions or outlandish statements,  but let our actions moving forward speak for us”

Exactly. This program — our entire damned athletic department — has done a metric crap-load of making ballsy predictions and outlandish statements, yet it hasn’t done a damn thing to back these statements or predictions up. Such is the culture of the Morgan Center, and such is the way Dan Guerrero wants it.

We can’t judge Jim Mora, Jr. based on this press conference alone. However, we can critique every public move he makes. And this was a solid press conference from our new leader. He was smart and on-point and didn’t make any sleazy statements at how crappy our football program has been (aside from “it’s been a rough decade for UCLA” which is just pure truth, albeit an understatement).

Let’s see some more, Jim. Our program depends on it.

Dan Guerrero screws up, duh, and UCLA hires Jim Mora, Jr.

Jim Mora, Jr.

Jim Mora, Jr. as Mark Wahlberg

Ladies and gentlemen, we now present to you reason #1259 to fire Dan Guerrero: The hiring of horrible NFL coach, Jim Mora, Jr.

Yes, that Jim Mora, Jr. The Jim Mora, Jr. that caused frustration among Atlanta Falcons and Seattle Seahawks fans by going 26-22 and 5-11 respectively.

His problems go beyond this, though: Junior was disowned by Atlanta Falcons fans after he said he would ditch the Falcons to coach the University of Washington even if the Falcons had gone to the playoffs.

Oi! When a coach like that comes around, things are a tad sketchy. Even worse, considering he hasn’t coached in a year or so, and considering that his Falcons team got progressively worse through his four years in the A.T.L. Dude posted records of 11-5, 8-8 and 7-9 in his three years as coach. That team was headed nowhere fast, too, with the team dropping three straight (from 7-6) to close out the season.

And his college career? Well, what college career? Mora, Jr. has never headed an amateur football team and seemingly only got head coaching gigs because of his pedigree.

But this is it. This is your new head coach. His credentials be damned, this is the hire Dan Guerrero — the idiot — has made and this is the one we’re stuck with. Don’t expect someone like UCLA Chancellor Gene Block to step in and unhire Mora, Jr. even if Block fires Guerror.

This is the guy we support until he proves us otherwise. The dude may have been a mediocre coach, but it’s on him to prove us wrong and, dammit, do I want this dude to prove us wrong.

The college game is a bit easier to master on the field than the NFL game. The X’s  and O’s let coaches have more freedom than the pro game. Of course, this doesn’t make the job easier — when you can throw millions of dollars at prospective players, the talent is far, far easier to obtain. Being a head honcho at a Pac-12 program requires that the coach is personable enough to recruit 17-year olds that are being scouted by the likes of Oregon, Stanford and U$C.

Perhaps this is where Mora Jr.’s career may take a turn. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll get the dude who so desperately wants to coach and finds himself better suited to coach a major football program in college.

We can only hope, Bruins. The hire is done. Be critical of Mora, but support him all the same. We’re now all on the same team.

Your move, Jim Mora, Jr.


Fingers Crossed: Dan Guerrero to be out as UCLA Athletic Director?


As you guys know by now, we have an awful AD here in Westwood. Dan Guerrero has run our football and basketball programs into the ground and, quite frankly, everyone’s appalled at how awfully disastrous the coaching search has been going.

So if you agree — and unless you go to some f’ed up school like U$C, you will — then this next bit will be good news: The Chancellor of UCLA, Gene Block, is supposedly meeting with donors without AD Dan Guerrero involved.

Now, the meeting could be for anything. Literally anything. So me writing a blog post on this might not even be worth the topic because maybe Gene Block is considering giving them all honorary diplomas or plush Bruin teddy bears. Could happen.

We don’t know the credibility of these “sources” or the reporter whom the “sources” reported to. No one else has said anything, but instead of taking time to bash a fellow Angelino and, if we’re honest, a decent fellow blogger, let’s go over some of the implications.

Obviously, DG will be gone as all of us had hoped for. But the coaching search might be a tad hindered as we would be relegated to finding a decent AD who can coerce a decent coach into coming to Westwood. Of course, the sacrifice is obviously worth it — a competent Athletic Director is a great investment for our athletics programs. Still, the next season may see interim coach Mike Johnson as the lead dawg, which may bring about a season of mediocrity. Still, a season of mediocrity is nothing compared to decades of greatness and awesomeness. We’re awesome either way, but we’d be awesome on a whole other level, you guys.

Again, we don’t know anything for sure. But we can all sit down and pray that this crap is correct because, gosh damn, we all want a new athletic director.

Fingers crossed. Your move, Gene-dawgs.