I know I haven’t updated you guys on the UCLA coaching search in a while — save for at my Twitter account — so I thought I’d give you guys an update now.
What’s the update? There is no update, jerk.
Seriously. We’re still coachless and the only thing we’ve gained any traction on is hiring crap-ass Jim Mora, Jr. who bickered with players during his time with the Seattle Seahawks and Atlanta Falcons and hasn’t been in the college game in 27 years. Twenty-seven years, guys.
In all honesty, this would be a really awful first-choice, and right now, it looks like it’s a reality unless Dan Guerrero grows half of a brain and decides to expand his horizon. (Note: OK, so maybe he’s starting to expand. A little …)
So we’re at an impasse. We’ve been coachless for 11 days now and we were no closer to finding a candidate than the minute we fired Rick Neuheisel. Dan Guerrero’s been bouncing from city to city, getting rejected incessantly by the likes of Chris Petersen, Kevin Sumlin and anyone else you can think of.
Dan Guerrero is a silly jerk. I have no idea the direction he wants to go and, honestly, I don’t think he does either. We all want him fired but it’s highly doubtful that Chancellor Gene Block cans the dude midway through a coaching search that’s been disastrous and 11 days long.
So the scenario is this: Our football program is flailing, our athletic director petitioned for UCLA to get into a bowl game while he tries to find a replacement for next year, all while our basketball team is, guess what, 2-5 with one win coming against a Division-II squad.
I’m going to sit in the corner and repeat to myself “at least our academics are strong.”