Tag Archives: Jim Mora Jr

UCLA A.D. Dan Guerrero and head football coach Jim L. Mora have a conversation

Jim Mora: Hey Dan, can I talk to you for a bit?

Dan Guerrero: Hey Jim! I’m actually a little busy. I was about to devour this HUGE piece of bacon.

DG: … so can it wait?

JM: Y’know, I don’t think so, Dan. It’s about the facilities here at UCLA.

DG: Oh, no …

DG: … Not you, too, Jim.

JM: Yeah. Well, they suck, and we could really use an upgrade especially since I’m really feeling the pressure from the fan-base, students and alumni to produce this season. I want to make sure my guys have everything we need.

DG: (Starts to rub his face into his hands, as a small whimper lets out.) Jim, let’s talk about something else. Hey, did you know you look like Mark Wahlberg? He’s a stud. I have a picture of him hung up on my wall.

JM: That’s nice … and honestly a little creepy. But we need to focus, Dan.

DG: He’s just such a handsome man … you’re a handsome man, too, Jim.

JM: Dammit, Dan, focus!

DG: Let me let you in on a little secret, Jim. I didn’t hire you on accident — people think I do stupid things on accident, but they don’t realize that every stupid thing I do is on purpose. So do you know why I hired you, Jim?

JM: To turn around the UCLA football program that’s been the epitome of mediocre for a decade …

DG: No, no, don’t be silly. I hired you so I wouldn’t have to deal with lofty expectations and so I wouldn’t have to hear criticism from coaches the way I have heard it from guys like Karl Dorrell and Rick Neuheisel. They wouldn’t stop whining and moaning. About the facilities, about the coaching staff, blah, blah, blah. I got so annoyed, Jim. I blessed them with a job. Shouldn’t that be enough?

JM: (In his head) Just smile, Jim. Smile … Just smile. Don’t punch him in the face. Don’t. Punch him. In the face. DO NOT. PUNCH HIM. IN THE FUCKING. FACE!!!! 

DG: I’m glad you understand, Jim. Here, let’s split this bacon.

JM: AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHH! WHAT THE F*** IS YOUR DEAL, DAN??? WHY THE F*** ARE YOU SUCH AN IDIOT???!?!? YOUR ASS NEEDS TO GO, DAN. DAMMIT! DAMMMMMITTTT! DO YOU REALIZE HOW CRAPPY THE UCLA FOOTBALL TEAM HAS BEEN?!?! DO YOU!??!!?!?

DG: Geez, Jim, tell me how you really feel.

JM: This is how I feel, Dan.

DG: That was seriously unnecessary, and I forgive you. Now …

DG … how about some of that bacon?!

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Here is the Jim Mora, Jr. introductory press conference

UCLA Athletic Director Dan Guerrero introduced new UCLA football head honcho Jim Mora, Jr. Here is the video:

Well, the video gets better as it goes along because Dan Guerrero eventually shuts the hell up to let Jim Mora speak.

In all honesty, Mora seems articulate, personable and optimistic. He looks legitimately happy to be the UCLA coach and he should be — he was pretty underqualified as a head coaching candidate for a job in which people speculated Chris Petersen from Boise State would occupy.

But we can knock him all we want, Bruins. We can knock him ’til the morale of our coaching staff is nothing. But that won’t do us any good. Mora proved that he knows what to say and when to say it, which is more than what we can say from ex-coaches Rick Neuheisel and Karl Dorrell.

The highlight of this press conference? Jim Mora’s following quote:

“I dont want to stand up here today and make any bold predictions or outlandish statements,  but let our actions moving forward speak for us”

Exactly. This program — our entire damned athletic department — has done a metric crap-load of making ballsy predictions and outlandish statements, yet it hasn’t done a damn thing to back these statements or predictions up. Such is the culture of the Morgan Center, and such is the way Dan Guerrero wants it.

We can’t judge Jim Mora, Jr. based on this press conference alone. However, we can critique every public move he makes. And this was a solid press conference from our new leader. He was smart and on-point and didn’t make any sleazy statements at how crappy our football program has been (aside from “it’s been a rough decade for UCLA” which is just pure truth, albeit an understatement).

Let’s see some more, Jim. Our program depends on it.

Dan Guerrero screws up, duh, and UCLA hires Jim Mora, Jr.

Jim Mora, Jr.

Jim Mora, Jr. as Mark Wahlberg

Ladies and gentlemen, we now present to you reason #1259 to fire Dan Guerrero: The hiring of horrible NFL coach, Jim Mora, Jr.

Yes, that Jim Mora, Jr. The Jim Mora, Jr. that caused frustration among Atlanta Falcons and Seattle Seahawks fans by going 26-22 and 5-11 respectively.

His problems go beyond this, though: Junior was disowned by Atlanta Falcons fans after he said he would ditch the Falcons to coach the University of Washington even if the Falcons had gone to the playoffs.

Oi! When a coach like that comes around, things are a tad sketchy. Even worse, considering he hasn’t coached in a year or so, and considering that his Falcons team got progressively worse through his four years in the A.T.L. Dude posted records of 11-5, 8-8 and 7-9 in his three years as coach. That team was headed nowhere fast, too, with the team dropping three straight (from 7-6) to close out the season.

And his college career? Well, what college career? Mora, Jr. has never headed an amateur football team and seemingly only got head coaching gigs because of his pedigree.

But this is it. This is your new head coach. His credentials be damned, this is the hire Dan Guerrero — the idiot — has made and this is the one we’re stuck with. Don’t expect someone like UCLA Chancellor Gene Block to step in and unhire Mora, Jr. even if Block fires Guerror.

This is the guy we support until he proves us otherwise. The dude may have been a mediocre coach, but it’s on him to prove us wrong and, dammit, do I want this dude to prove us wrong.

The college game is a bit easier to master on the field than the NFL game. The X’s  and O’s let coaches have more freedom than the pro game. Of course, this doesn’t make the job easier — when you can throw millions of dollars at prospective players, the talent is far, far easier to obtain. Being a head honcho at a Pac-12 program requires that the coach is personable enough to recruit 17-year olds that are being scouted by the likes of Oregon, Stanford and U$C.

Perhaps this is where Mora Jr.’s career may take a turn. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll get the dude who so desperately wants to coach and finds himself better suited to coach a major football program in college.

We can only hope, Bruins. The hire is done. Be critical of Mora, but support him all the same. We’re now all on the same team.

Your move, Jim Mora, Jr.

 

UCLA football coach search update: There is no update

I know I haven’t updated you guys on the UCLA coaching search in a while — save for at my Twitter account — so I thought I’d give you guys an update now.

What’s the update? There is no update, jerk.

Seriously. We’re still coachless and the only thing we’ve gained any traction on is hiring crap-ass Jim Mora, Jr. who bickered with players during his time with the Seattle Seahawks and Atlanta Falcons and hasn’t been in the college game in 27 years. Twenty-seven years, guys.

In all honesty, this would be a really awful first-choice, and right now, it looks like it’s a reality unless Dan Guerrero grows half of a brain and decides to expand his horizon. (Note: OK, so maybe he’s starting to expand. A little …)

So we’re at an impasse. We’ve been coachless for 11 days now and we were no closer to finding a candidate than the minute we fired Rick Neuheisel. Dan Guerrero’s been bouncing from city to city, getting rejected incessantly by the likes of Chris Petersen, Kevin Sumlin and anyone else you can think of.

Dan Guerrero is a silly jerk. I have no idea the direction he wants to go and, honestly, I don’t think he does either. We all want him fired but it’s highly doubtful that Chancellor Gene Block cans the dude midway through a coaching search that’s been disastrous and 11 days long.

So the scenario is this: Our football program is flailing, our athletic director petitioned for UCLA to get into a bowl game while he tries to find a replacement for next year, all while our basketball team is, guess what, 2-5 with one win coming against a Division-II squad.

I’m going to sit in the corner and repeat to myself “at least our academics are strong.”